Race Report Part One: It's all about priorities

Preface. Here's what I tell Li'l Lotto before I race: safety first, fun second, winning third. And I mean it, cuz a) it's the Liontamer way, and b) as most of you know, a teammate of mine went to a race not quite 2 years ago and "finished" by donating her organs to nice people in need of same who still had brainwaves, something she unfortunately lacked thanks to a truck towing a horse trailer in the wrong place at the wrong time. Bottom line to my mind is that racing is a fun hobby because it gives you a reason to workout and something to talk about over the beer you earned while training and/or racing.

Race. We're in north central Indiana and there are 21 women toed up to the line. The race director reminds us at the start that the yellow-line rule is in effect, even when the road is wanting in that department. Ya see, it's like this here: we're on country roads where the roads a) are open to car/truck traffic, and b) have ripples, or as one dude watching the race from his front yard said, the carpet's got a few kinks in it 'round here. Just enough, in fact, that you can't necessarily see if a car, or, say, a FedEx truck, is headed at you just on the other side of one of the road wrinkles.

Off we go with a 15 or so mph tailwind for about 1/2 a mile. Right turn (south) and we're gettin' smacked by the breeze from the right so everyone's fightin' to hide from the wind on the left, i.e. toward the center of the road. The chick in the front though, she don't want everyone gettin' the full benefit of her draft, so she rides all up next to the yellow line. I'm about mid-pack, in the wind, on the right of the group. Then, not 5 minutes into the race, a chick attacks. Hard. Do I try to grab her wheel? Woulda, but, uhh...negatory. Why? Cuz she bolts across the yellow line, all the way to the far left side of the road. Yeah, as in: a) cheating, and b) risking her life cuz a kink in the carpet not a quarter mile up means she has no idea what's comin' at her. One of her teammates follows her. I'm saying WTF to the chick next to me. Others are saying it too, only louder. Off they go though. One chick bridges up to the two teammates and they veer back over into the legal/safe side of the road just as they're cresting medium sized kink. I'm incredulous cuz it's all manner of ridonkulous. I make mental note that the rule is that they're DQ'd and anyone who rides with them is likewise. Oh, and I also note that they're idiots and I'm now seriously considering pulling into the parking lot after the first lap, packing up my stuff and heading back to the V family manse. But then I remember that that might put my "earned" post-race beer at risk. Drat.

I starting looking around to see who might be feeling like working together to chase em, thereby giving them the opportunity to hear exactly what I think of their tactics. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller......? Not so much. So I go to the front and pull for about 6 miles, almost back to the start/finish line. (Oh yeah, few course deatils might help. We're doing five 8ish mile laps and the course is basically a big rectangle with the two long sides in the northerly/southerly directional situosity, and the start/finish line 1/2 between these two roads, and headed easterly, hence, with a tailwind.)

I then ask no one in particular if perchance I've earned a break and someone else might want to do a little work. Mind you, we're now dropped 5-6 ladies. Two ladies retort in my general direction that they have two teammates in the break (the original two cheaters) and they're "blocking". Fair enough. I guess. I mean normally sure, have at it, but for cheaters? Really? Fine. Whatever. However, a youngin sportin' a Northwestern University jersey slides up along side me and proudly announces that she wants to work(!). Well Boo-ya, girl child! Let's have at it then, I say. And we do. For the next 5-6 miles, she and I, trading pulls. Then she disappears. Dang, she's popped and I feel bad for a second or two. Poor dear. Then I notice that the remaining group I'm in contains two other teammates besides the blockers...some chicks racing for the McDonald's team. Yeah, I know, who knew? McDonald's! And by the by, they have an awesome team vehicular - a pimped out Dodge Sprinter. Totally dope. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I'm looking for new helpers in my quest to give a piece of my mind to the cheaters.

Stay Tuned...